Echoes of a Wounded Soul
by Loridhhp
Summary: "I want you to let yourself feel whatever comes up within you. Know that you are surrounded by the force of pure love, the greatest force in the universe, that which created all things, flows through all things, and is all things. Let this force flow through you and clear away the pain of your past." Elsa meets a healer and begins a new journey within herself. Cover in pastel by me


**This story has been on my mind for quite a while and it had to be written. For those of you who have subscribed to "A Queen's Legacy" I will be writing chapter two next. Please note: I have health issues that makes it very difficult to update quickly. I live with constant (at times excruciating) pain throughout my body and writing hurts, but I love it so much! I also have to deal with chronic fatigue and brain fog which make focusing and thinking straight difficult. So if you like this, or any of my stories...please leave me a review! Writing is a labor of love and a painful one at that.**

**On that note: I do not own Frozen. Disney does. I own only the characters I create. This work is for entertainment only. Enjoy!**

**Echoes of a Wounded Soul**

The moon shone full and bright over Arendelle harbor, creating ominous shadows throughout the land, yet at the same time leaving shining diamonds of light glistening on the gentle waves as they met the shoreline. It was a contrasting scene both beautiful and yet shrouded in the dark unknown; light and dark, peaceful serenity and the underlying trepidation that lurks in the shadows.

The stillness of the night was broken yet again by the same outcry: "Nooooooooooo! Anna!"

The panicked shout was always the same and loud enough to send two doves that were roosting on an upper floor window sill of Arendelle castle into a startled flight. The moonlight that streamed through that window cast a triangle shaped spot of luminescence on the floor of the queen's bedchambers. Shuddering gasps filled the darkened room as Queen Elsa bolted up in bed as she did practically every night. Frost crept across the floor and spread out on the window panes muting the light on the rug.

Elsa sat in bed for a moment. She ran her fingers through her disheveled hair that was damp from perspiration. Even though her room was freezing over she found her skin to be clammy. The tiny hairs on her arms stood on end as her panicked state continued its grip on her body. With trembling hands, she threw back the covers and swung her legs off the bed. She sighed as her bare feet made contact with the icy floor below. The cold was a relief, a comfort. She paced the floor taking note of the spreading ice.

_Calm yourself, Elsa. You can do it. Just breathe. It was just another nightmare. Everything is fine. But…what if it isn't?_

Elsa bit her lip and forced herself to quell the terror within. It had been weeks since Anna froze out on the fjord. Yes, she had thawed due to her selfless act of love, but Elsa still felt responsible for her sister's near demise all the same. She quickly padded to the door, her hand hesitating on the handle. Anna had begged her not to shut her out and she'd forced herself to go to Anna's room when the nightmares woke her. She took comfort in just lying in her sister's bed, cradled in Anna's loving embrace. She hadn't broken down in tears, in fact she hadn't wept since that horrible moment when Anna became an ice statue. She just let her beloved younger sister hold her as she slept.

Elsa silently opened the door and peeked into the hall. It was quiet, as it should be at that late hour. Her anxiety was still piqued and her eyes darted around. When she was sure that no one was forthcoming to her assistance, she cautiously made her way down the hall to Anna's bedchambers. She paused, her hand raised to knock, but instead she just rested her palm on the smooth surface of the polished wood.

This door would never freeze over from its occupant's fear. She inhaled a shaky breath and exhaled slowly, hoping to calm her pounding heart. She knew that Anna slept like a rock and only the loudest screams would send the young woman bolting into her sister's room, hair a wild mess of tangles and drool still clinging to the edge of her chin. Anna would launch herself onto Elsa's bed in a panic and in a half coherent jumble of words offer her a measure of comfort that only her awkward sister could.

Elsa smiled softly at the memory of all the times Anna had been there for her recently. She had promised to not shut her out and she'd kept that promise, at least to a certain extent. When Anna knocked, the door was always opened to her. Elsa owed her that much. The door to her heart was another matter. Elsa still kept that guarded, preferring to keep her deepest pain locked away where it could do no harm. Today was a new day. She was a new woman. She could thaw her ice and send her snow away with the flick of her hand to drift into the atmosphere and dissolve back into the air.

Taking one more calming breath, Elsa gently turned the handle on the door and cracked it open. She gazed into the darkened room, her eyes focusing on the pile of twisted blankets and limbs sprawled on the bed. She crept into the room and padded over to her sister's bed. Anna was snoring softly, her mouth partially open, drool already moistening her pillow. Elsa smiled wistfully and brushed a lock of wayward hair from Anna's face. She just couldn't do it, not tonight. Anna was probably exhausted from so many nights of poor sleep due to having to comfort her during her nightmares. Elsa leaned down to place a tiny kiss to her sister's forehead. Anna sighed, smiled in her sleep and flipped over, further tangling herself in her blankets.

Anna snorted in her sleep causing Elsa to cover a giggle with her hand. Her smile quickly faded when she heard Anna mumbling in her sleep. She could make out the words _no _and _Elsa. _Did Anna have nightmares too? Elsa caressed her sister's head with the barest of touches. This seemed to soothe the younger sibling. The frown once again softened on Anna's face and the tiny smile returned. Elsa leaned down to give Anna one final peck on the cheek before silently making her way to the door. With one last glance at her sleeping sister, Elsa exited the room and gently closed the door.

_I don't deserve her love, not after the way I treated her. She deserves a sister who isn't afraid to open up to her. How could she possibly still care for me? I'm a stranger to her. I don't know how to let her in. I almost killed her twice! No! I DID kill her the second time! I can't go through that again. _

Elsa entered her room still lost in thought. _Love will thaw. Love. Mama and Papa loved me and now they're dead. Anna is all I have left. I need to calm myself so I can thaw my room and try to get some sleep. I can do this. Think about everything Anna endured just to come find you up on the North Mountain. Think about her huge heart and how she never stopped knocking on your door looking for you. She never hated you no matter how much you hurt her. She sacrificed herself to save you from death!_

Elsa focused all of her thoughts on trying to feel that love within her. It seemed that every time she had been able to thaw her ice and snow in recent days Anna had always been by her side. She was the presence that gave her hope that she _could_ thaw the ice. Whenever she had nightmares, Anna would come and stay with her and the ice always melted. Now she was alone and the ice wasn't melting. The source of her joy was sleeping in her own room and Elsa would not be selfish enough to wake her just to thaw her own room.

As she climbed back into bed and settled in for what would surely be another long night with her thoughts, Elsa gazed out her window at the moon. She tried to draw solace from the cold glow that filtered through the still frosted panes. Instead of comfort she felt the same uneasiness she always had. There was the same gnawing pain in her chest that had been her companion since the incident when she'd hit Anna with her powers so long ago. It felt as if an invisible hand was squeezing her heart, like she didn't deserve to own that heart. It was a numbness that was beyond painful. Her muscles hurt too. She was used to the stiffness throughout her body. It was a small price to pay to keep up the illusion of regal bearing and poise expected of a queen. She sighed, closing her eyes, and waited for the sun to rise.

* * *

A soft knock startled her. "Good morning, Your Majesty," came the greeting from her maid as she entered the room. "I trust you slept well."

"Not as well as I would have liked, but today is another day," Elsa replied, forcing herself to smile and hoping the older woman didn't notice the puffiness under her eyes. "Johanna, could you please set out my attire while I wash up? I have an important meeting today and I think it would be wise if I didn't wear an ice dress of my own creation. First impressions are lasting impressions."

"Why, of course, Your Majesty," Johanna exclaimed, giving a small curtsey. The middle-aged woman's joints crackled causing Elsa to smile. "I believe I know just the perfect dress for today. I've already drawn your bath and set out your toiletries. Once I've made the bed I will assist you."

Elsa trusted Johanna's judgment; after all, the woman had once been her mother's personal maid. Elsa just couldn't bear to let her go after her mother's death and so she reassigned her to her new position as her own personal maid. Elsa herself never had her own personal attendant. Her parents didn't trust anyone to keep Elsa's magic a secret therefore only the queen spent time with Elsa. Elsa wondered if the real reason she'd never had her own maid was because the servants were afraid of her.

As the ever faithful and cheerful Johanna tended to her room, making the bed and setting out various undergarments and appropriate attire, Elsa headed to her bath. The warm water soothed her aching muscles and she relaxed enough to not freeze the bath water, which she had done on many occasions. She closed her eyes and leaned back in the tub. She must have dozed off because she didn't hear the door open, but she did hear a giggle just before getting doused with a pitcher of water.

"Anna! Really?" Elsa sputtered as she wiped her face. She didn't have to see her to know that her mischievous sister had entered the room.

"Just thought I'd help you wash your hair," Anna retorted with a laugh. "Besides, I'd like to make myself presentable too. While you are in meetings today, Kristoff is taking me out for a picnic."

"You really like him," Elsa mused as she washed herself.

"I…I do," Anna responded shyly. "I mean you don't have to worry, Elsa. It's not like I'm going to marry him or anything. I learned that lesson the hard way. I thought Hans loved me, but instead it turned out that he was just using me to take the throne. I feel so stupid."

Elsa looked at Anna's downcast eyes and sad expression and shook her head. "Let's not talk about Hans. I know that there are plenty of things to say about him, but I'd rather not let him ruin my day. As long as you don't run off and marry him, you have my blessing to court Kristoff. After all, he went out his way to help you find me. He's a bit rough around the edges, but I actually like him. Besides, any man who can put up with your incessant rambling is a good man." Elsa chuckled and Anna's face slowly broke out into a smile as if the sun had just burst forth from the rain clouds.

"Kristoff _is_ a good guy," Anna stated. "He's like my best friend who's a guy and not you. I can tell him anything. Of course he rolls his eyes at me like you do but he listens. I promise that we'll take it very slow. Will you be around when we get back so we can spend some time together? I know how busy you've been with fixing the damage your almost never ending winter caused, but I haven't been able to spend much time with you. I…I was kind of hoping that maybe we could go into the Great Hall and you could do the magic and we could build a snowman. I mean…you know how to thaw the snow now so…"

Elsa's eyes shot wide open, as she bolted upright clutching herself. "I can't!"

"Why not?" Anna looked disappointed. "It doesn't have to be a snowman. We could make snow angels or throw snowballs at each other. I just want to spend some time with you, that's all. I mean…if you're too busy, I understand. Just please…Elsa…don't shut me out again. I don't think I could take it anymore."

"I don't want to build a snowman in the Great Hall, and I will explain why…just not today. I'm not ready to face it," Elsa replied softly while wringing her wash cloth nervously.

"Ok…I'll get out of your way so you can get ready for your meeting," Anna stated a bit dejectedly. Before Elsa could apologize, Anna scurried from the room.

_You can't even tell her! You can't even tell your own sister that you hit her with your magic before. Magic…a curse is more like it! How can you tell Anna that you nearly killed her once before? She'll hate you! _

Elsa looked down into the tub and noticed that the water had frozen around her at least an inch deep. She tossed the wash cloth onto the floor and lifted her hands up, concentrating on thawing the ice. She could feel the tension returning to her body and her breathing was ragged from her increasing anxiety. The ice wasn't melting: it was only getting thicker. Her eyes widening in fear of possibly being trapped in her own bath tub, Elsa knew that if she didn't do something quickly, she would need an ice pick to free herself. She brought her arms up over her head, curled her hands into fists, and with a frustrated cry slammed them into the ice with as much force as she could muster.

The ice broke apart, splashing frigid water all over the floor. Elsa stood up and grabbed for a towel just as Johanna entered the room. The older woman gasped at the sight of the icy water sloshing in the tub. She promptly assisted Elsa out of the bath and wrapped another towel around her. Elsa was shivering though not from the frozen bath. She took several deep breaths to calm herself. Johanna made quick work of drying her with the towel.

"Are you alright, Your Majesty?" Johanna queried as she wrapped a robe around Elsa.

"I…I'm fine," Elsa responded, giving her maid a small smile. "I guess I'm still trying to perfect my ability to thaw my ice. It's not always easy."

"It will come," Johanna replied, returning the smile. "You've had a very busy few weeks adjusting to being open about your powers. You are bound to slip up once in a while. If I may be so bold to say, Your Majesty, I've know you since you were born. I've watched you grow while I tended to your mother. I feel so honored that you've kept me on as your personal attendant. I have no doubts in my mind that if your mother could see you now she would be so very proud of you."

"I…I want to think that she wouldn't disapprove of my actions," Elsa remarked wistfully. She could feel that familiar clenching in her chest again that made it hard to breathe. She inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly. "Thank you for those kind words, Johanna. Your loyalty means more to me than you'll ever know. Now…if you could help me prepare for the day…I'm afraid I am running late as it is." She chuckled and made her way into her dressing room.

"Right away, Your Majesty," Johanna replied, quickly following on the queen's heels.

* * *

Elsa sat in her study re-reading a letter for the ninth time since she'd received it. It was from a woman who had met her parents three years ago on that fateful trip; the last trip they would ever take. The woman was traveling and was looking forward to finally being able to meet Idunn's daughters. Apparently, this woman had grown very close to her mother during the short time they'd spent together.

A knock interrupted her thoughts as a maid entered carrying a tray with a full tea service and various pastries. She set the tray down on the low table by the sofa. She gave a curtsy and backed out nearly bumping into Kai who was escorting Elsa's guest. Elsa rose to her feet and walked around her desk to greet her much anticipated guest.

"Your Majesty," Kai began with a small bow and a sweeping arm gesture, "May I present to you Mrs. Petra Melje of the United States of America. Mrs. Melje, I present Her Majesty, Queen Elsa of Arendelle."

Elsa watched as an older woman in her forties performed a deep curtsey, gathering her skirt and petticoats. Her chestnut brown hair seemed to glisten with silvery highlights. Her hair was upswept into a bun with tendrils framing her pink cheeks. Her youthful face betrayed her age with high cheek bones, full lips and twinkling eyes of the most beautiful blue Elsa had ever seen. The woman smiled, revealing dimples in her cheeks and creases on the edge of her eyes. She was dressed in a gown of royal blue and trimmed with lace. She wore matching delicate silk gloves. At her exposed throat she wore a pendant with a pink stone set into an ornate gold wrapping.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Melje," Elsa said with a smile. "I must admit that I am very curious about your request for an audience with me."

"Please, Your Majesty, call me Petra," the woman grinned, extending her hand.

"Very well, Petra, it's a pleasure to meet you," Elsa replied clasping the woman's hand in hers. "From your letter, you stated that you knew my mother." Elsa led Petra to the waiting tea service where they sat on the sofa.

"Yes, Your Majesty, I'd met your mother when I accompanied my husband on a business trip to Arendelle a few years ago and we became dear friends," Petra responded, taking the cup of tea offered to her. "Idunn was such a lovely woman. When I'd heard that she and Agdar were lost at sea, I immediately set sail for Arendelle to attend the memorial service. I had hoped to meet you then, but I was informed that due to your grief you would not be accepting visitors."

"It was a very difficult time," Elsa stated with a sigh. She stirred some honey into her tea and took a tentative sip. "So what brings you to Arendelle…business or pleasure?"

"Actually, Your Majesty, it's more like the fulfillment of a request," Petra began, "from your mother."

"Please…call me Elsa. I don't understand," Elsa mused. She placed her cup down and set her hands on her lap. "My mother has been dead for three years."

"Did you know that your parents came to see me? That was the reason for that fateful trip three years ago," Petra remarked with a sad smile. When she looked up there were tears glistening in her eyes. "They came to visit me while I was on another business trip to Germany. We met there before I was to make the journey home to the United States. They were returning to Arendelle when that horrible storm hit and sunk their ship. I still feel partially at fault."

"You couldn't have known that they would hit that storm," Elsa soothed, placing a hand on Petra's hand.

"I suppose you're right, but it still pained me deeply to lose your mother," Petra continued, taking another sip of her tea. "Idunn and I had been corresponding for months before she begged Agdar to make the trip to see me. I know all about your powers, Elsa. Your mother told me everything." Petra sighed and gave Elsa a tender smile.

"She…she told you?" Elsa inquired, her eyes widening. _I thought they wanted to keep my powers a secret!_

"Your mother loved you so much, Elsa, as did your father, but they were at a loss as to how to help you," Petra stated. "They came to me because I could give them the answers they so desperately sought…answers that were hidden in plain sight. Idunn wanted me to meet with you to help you by giving you counsel. She was so filled with hope when I last saw her."

"Why did it take you three years to come to me?" Elsa pressed, her brows draw together in puzzlement.

"I _did_ come right away, but you weren't ready for what I had to say," Petra explained. "Or rather, what I needed to _do_."

"So why _now?_" Elsa began to wring her hands on her lap.

"Because I feel that you are ready for what I have to say and are open," Petra began. "Idunn and I had long conversations during the last time I saw her. She was so inquisitive and eager to learn. She had so many questions, as I'm sure you will have as well. In fact…she broke down sobbing into my shoulder with hope the day I last saw her. Even your father had tears in his eyes. They had the answers they'd come for and were so looking forward to sharing that information with you. It broke my heart to hear that they never made it home…"

Petra broke off and sighed raggedly. She gazed at the portrait of King Agdar on his coronation day and swallowed hard as a tear rolled down her cheek. She brushed it away and turned to set her glassy- eyed gaze at the new queen, the beloved daughter of her dear friend Idunn. The woman was very perceptive, empathic one might say, and could feel what others felt. It was a gift that she suspected that the young queen sitting next to her shared as well.

"I…I'm sorry," Petra said softly while wiping another fallen tear. "Please forgive me for my emotionality. It's just that…you look so much like your mother. I miss her."

"I do as well," Elsa murmured, casting her gaze down into her lap. "I didn't have a chance to give them a proper farewell, at least symbolically. There were no bodies to bury beneath the stones that now serve as memorial markers. It still seems as if they could return at any moment and all would be well. But…I know that couldn't happen."

"Before I go into why I am here, I will tell you a bit about me so that you can understand where I am coming from," Petra began, taking a krumcake from the plate. "I was born and raised in The United States. I come from a family of wealth. My father, and his father before him, owned what is now a large shipbuilding industry. As the only heir, I inherited my father's business. I really had no desire to run a huge ship building industry. I married my husband and he eventually ran the business. He had been in the Navy and had a passion for all things seaworthy.

"I, on the other hand, had more of a passion for learning and traveling," Petra continued. "While living in New York, I had the opportunity to explore and learn from the local people. I was fascinated with the culture of the native tribes on Long Island and elsewhere. The spiritual practices of the indigenous people of America greatly intrigued me. From there I began to travel to other countries, at first while accompanying my husband Thomas on business trips and then on my own. I was in search of spiritual growth. I especially loved Eastern practices of meditation and energy work. I studied with the locals to become a practitioner of holistic healing. You must have some questions for me. You look confused."

Elsa blinked and closed her mouth. She hadn't even realized she looked more like a fish than a monarch. "Your husband supported you on your quest?"

"He didn't at first, wanting me to just keep the spiritual practices I had grown up in by attending church services with him, but I had so many questions that I wasn't finding answers to," Petra replied. "It hasn't been easy as a woman to travel anywhere unaccompanied by my husband. We aren't given many rights as citizens in this day and age, but I hope that will one day change."

"So your husband supports you now?" Elsa wondered.

"Thomas passed away last year," Petra said softly. Her eyes glistened with unshed tears.

"I'm so sorry," Elsa gasped, covering her mouth. "I…I…"

"That's all right, you didn't know, Elsa," Petra soothed, placing a hand on Elsa's knee. "After a period of mourning, I settled the logistics of the day to day running of my company, giving control to my uncle while still maintaining my status as a primary shareholder. It was for the best. I didn't have the desire to run the shipbuilding company or the heart to continue without Thomas."

"You said that you spent years learning spiritual practices," Elsa recounted. "Is that why my parents sought you out?"

"I actually met your mother during a business trip. While Thomas and your father discussed the shipping industry and negotiated contracts for us to build vessels for your kingdom, your mother and I became acquainted. We just connected as if we'd known each other all our lives. It was such a short visit, but we kept in contact through letter writing. Idunn didn't tell me about your gifts at first. It took nearly a year before she felt she could share something so profound. And when she _did _finally bring it up, I could feel her pain in the words that were smeared with tears on the parchment. My heart broke for her because she was so lost and so desperately concerned for your health and safety."

"I shut my parents out during the last few years of their lives," Elsa stated remorsefully. "I wouldn't even allow them to touch me, let alone hug me, for fear of hurting them with my uncontrolled powers. I'm assuming Mother told you about the incident where I hurt my sister Anna when she was five years old?"

"Yes," Petra nodded. "She shed many tears over that incident when we finally met again in person."

Petra gazed at the now consumed tea and half eaten treats on the tray, her mind in deep thought. "Elsa," She finally spoke, "I haven't just arrived in Arendelle. I've been here for some time. In fact, I was present for your coronation. Oh, I wasn't invited to the ball afterwards because you didn't know me, but I knew I needed to stay in Arendelle. It was a powerful feeling I had that I just couldn't shake."

"You…you saw me expose my powers in front of everyone in the courtyard, didn't you," Elsa stated quietly. "You were there."

"Yes," Petra intoned just as quietly. "I watched you, a look of utter panic on your face, flee up into the mountains. I saw your distraught sister head after you and I waited. I knew the time was coming where you would need my counsel. I saw you come back in chains and unconscious. I watched the guards put you in a cell as Prince Hans carried out his plans. I had a bad feeling about that boy and my intuition is rarely wrong. I could _feel _every one of the emotions you tried to suppress within you! Even though I couldn't see what was happening on the fjord during that blizzard of yours, I wept for you because I could feel your heart shattering."

"I have nightmares every night about that day," Elsa whispered, her eyes taking on a haunted look momentarily. "I…I froze my sister's heart with my powers and she died right there on the fjord. She used her last breath to throw herself in front of Hans' sword before he brought it down on me to kill me. A part of me died that day. I don't know how to get it back." Elsa shuddered, wrapping her arms around herself in a hug.

"Your sister looked very much alive when last I saw her," Petra remarked with a small smile. "An amazing thing…love…it is the most healing force on earth and one I'd like to explore with you."

"I don't understand," Elsa said, shaking her head in confusion.

"Elsa, I'd like to help you heal the scars of your past through energy work and other healing modalities. Would you be willing to allow me to guide you through a profound journey into the spirit so that you may find healing and your true purpose in life?"

"I…uh…What would I have to do?" Elsa answered, nervously.

"I promise you there will be nothing physically awkward," Petra said, smiling. "If you'd like to have your sister present to comfort you during any emotional releases you may have, that would be fine. In fact, I'd encourage it."

"Emotional releases? Elsa repeated.

"I will explain everything before I begin, if you are willing to experience something you may not have ever experienced before." Petra stood and straightened her dress.

"I…I think I _would_ like my sister to be present," Elsa affirmed, rising as well. "Let me see if she has returned from her excursion with her suitor, Kristoff."

* * *

As they waited for Anna to return, Petra explained what she had planned to try with Elsa. The thought of any possible emotional release being mistaken for an attack on the queen by the castle guards made Elsa consider an alternative location where there would be privacy. With the use of her powers, she could get to the location much faster. Elsa explained to Anna her part in this excursion once she returned, and they prepared for travel.

"Are we really going all the way up to the North Mountain?" Anna asked, as she packed some warmer clothes.

"Yes, Anna," Elsa sighed. "My ice palace is still there and it's the only place where I would feel safe enough to undertake what Petra has planned."

"And what is _my _part in this little adventure of yours?" Kristoff inquired, crossing his arms across his chest.

"You know how to get us there," Anna stated, "and I'd feel safer with you coming along. Not that I can't handle myself, cause I can, but I just want to make sure we're all safe. Well…that and I really want you there in case _I _need some support while Elsa is going through whatever it is that's going to happen. Ugh!" Anna groaned, "I'm an idiot! Sorry, I tend to talk too much. Just ignore me, Petra."

Petra laughed and gave Anna a wide grin. "I think you are adorable, Anna. If I had had a sister I'd want her to be as spirited as you."

"Aw," Anna cooed. She turned to Elsa. "I like her. Can we keep her?"

It was Elsa's turn to laugh now. "Anna, she's not a stray puppy. We should get going before we lose the daylight."

Elsa had Kristoff load up his sled rather than his summer wagon. As Kristoff went to hitch up Sven, Elsa shook her head, stating that they wouldn't need him. He frowned and led Sven back into his pen in the stables. He then assisted Anna onto the seat as Elsa and Petra climbed in back. Kristoff steered while Elsa focused her powers on creating a sheet of ice beneath the sled and strong winds to propel the sled forward. It was a very rapid trip to the ice palace with the sled darting around trees and rocks and gliding over ravines on moving bridges of ice. Anna loved the speed of travel while Petra marveled at Elsa's magical abilities.

Once they arrived on the North Mountain and ascended to the peak, Elsa's ice palace came into view. Petra gasped at the magnificence of the ice structure in complete awe. Kristoff sighed deeply.

"It's just as beautiful as the last time we were here," he breathed. "Still flawless."

"I may have to make a few repairs though," Elsa stated with a frown. She hadn't had time to return to her ice palace after the thaw and assess the damage caused by her capture by Hans and the guards.

They ascended the staircase that bridged a deep ravine next to the palace. Elsa made quick ice repairs to the structure where the railings were damaged. Once inside, the rest of the party looked around in awe while Elsa tried to keep her breathing even. Flashbacks filled her head of running up the stairs to the upper level with the Weselton guards in pursuit, the attack with crossbows, arrows just missing her face by inches, using her powers to pin one of the guards to the wall with icicles, blasting a wall of ice toward the other guard and nearly sending him to his death off the balcony, a crossbow shot to the ice chandelier and blackness.

Elsa could feel another panic attack building, as she wrung her hands nervously and desperately tried to catch her breath. She suddenly felt a hand on her shoulder and jumped. She turned to see Petra standing next to her, a small smile on her face.

"Shall we find a good place to begin your healing?" Petra inquired gently of the frightened queen. Elsa nodded and avoided the upper floors, instead preparing a place on the main floor.

She used her powers to form a long table made of ice that was the perfect height. Even though the cold didn't bother her in the least, she had Anna set up blankets on the table. She formed an ice chair at the head of the table as instructed by Petra so that Anna may sit there to offer Elsa comfort and support. In another room she created more furniture for Kristoff to relax on while he waited for them. The remaining blankets were placed on the ice chaise. Kristoff plopped down on the chaise and stretched out, covering himself with a blanket in preparation for a nice nap.

"Whatever you hear coming from the other room, Kristoff, please allow Anna to take care of it," Petra instructed. "Elsa will not be in any danger whatsoever, but she may need to express herself during the treatment. She may feel embarrassed at expressing such vulnerability. Anna will come to you when we are finished."

Kristoff nodded. "I get it…don't come running when the screaming starts. Just let Anna deal with it." He lay back, placed his arms behind his head, and closed his eyes.

"I...It won't really be that bad, will it?" Anna asked meekly, while biting her lower lip and looked over at Elsa.

"We won't know how Elsa reacts until we begin," Petra explained. "If you please, Elsa could you lie on the table face up. You may want to remove your shoes to be more comfortable. I will cover you with a blanket."

"I don't feel the cold," Elsa said as she removed her shoes and climbed onto the table. Petra placed a small pillow under her head and covered her with a light blanket anyway.

"It's more for comfort and security than the cold in your case," Petra explained while adjusting the blanket. "Now, Anna, please sit in that chair at Elsa's head. If things become too intense for your sister you can comfort her as I work on her."

Anna moved to sit at Elsa's head. She stroked her sister's hair and smiled down at her.

"What I will be doing is a form of energy healing." Petra stood next to Elsa at the side of the table. "I will be placing my hands over you and attempting to clear the energy centers of your body of trapped harmful energy. This trapped energy can cause illness in the body and emotional imbalances. I've noticed, in the short time that I've known you, Elsa, that you have a great deal of muscle tightness. You hold yourself very rigid. You carry yourself as someone who has spent a lifetime over controlling everything in order to deal with your emotions. Am I right?"

"I have tried very hard to conceal my emotions, yes," Elsa sighed. "My powers are linked to my emotions and if I am too emotional…well…you saw what can happen."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Anna inquired, stroking Elsa's forehead with her thumbs. "I could have helped somehow. Why did you feel that you had to shut me out of your life completely? I…I just want to understand…why."

Elsa squeezed her eyes shut and tried to block the images from her mind. All she could see was the times she'd hurt her sister. All she could see was how dangerous she really was and how she deserved to be confined to her room. She could feel the lump forming in her throat again and swallowed against it, fighting the fear, pushing it deeper inside of her. She had no answers for Anna, at least none that would be acceptable.

"I can feel the pain beneath the surface, Elsa," Petra remarked.

Elsa opened her eyes to see the woman placing her hands just above her body but yet not actually touching it. Petra's hands hovered over Elsa's abdomen and upper chest near her throat. The woman inhaled and centered herself. Even though she was naturally cold, Elsa could feel warmth radiating from Petra's hands and flowing over her body like an invisible caress. It was soothing and seemed to pulsate with energy. She focused on calming her breathing as Petra passed her hands over the air above her body. She closed her eyes once more, giving in to the soothing warmth.

"I want you to let yourself feel whatever comes up within you," Petra said softly. "Know that you are surrounded by the force of pure love, the greatest force in the universe, that which created all things, flows through all things, and_ is _all things. Call it God. Call it divine wisdom. Call it Spirit. It is the energy that heals and sustains us. Let this Love flow through you and clear away the pain of your past."

Elsa began to notice a gnawing pain in her belly as if someone had kicked her in the stomach. This pain then coursed throughout her body causing her muscles to tighten and tremble. Memories and flashbacks of every traumatic event in her life coalesced into a growing force of emotion. The trembling in her muscles soon turned into writhing of limbs and clenching of muscles into spasms.

"Don't fight it, Elsa," Petra said in a voice that seemed so far away to Elsa. "Allow yourself to feel it. You have blocked your emotions for so long that they have become toxic in your body. Just _feel._"

Elsa could feel the panic rising in her chest and making its way into her throat, gagging her as if unseen hands were around her neck squeezing the very life from her body. She struggled to breathe, only barely aware of Anna stroking her hair and caressing her cheeks with her thumbs. She continued to writhe on the table, gagging and choking against the rising energy. Memories continued to bombard her consciousness with her failures and her self-loathing.

Ice began to creep up the table and covered the blanket. Sharp spears of ice sprung from the walls and floor. Snow began to swirl around her. Her throat felt as if it would collapse. With one mighty lurch of her head back, Elsa let loose an ear piercing shriek unlike anything she had ever heard. The scream tore from her strangled throat with such force that it reverberated off the crystalline ice walls of the palace. It was followed by another scream and another until Elsa could only scream and flail on the table in her panic.

"That's it, Elsa, let it go," Petra soothed, gently rubbing Elsa's abdomen. "Let it out. Release that pain and suffering. You are safe here and surrounded by love. No one will judge you or condemn you."

"Mama! Papa! Why?" Elsa screamed into the void, her eyes shut tight against the onslaught of pain. "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! I didn't mean it. I didn't mean to hurt Anna!" She was practically incoherent now, completely oblivious to anyone around her. "I'm bad…a monster…I don't deserve to live. I don't deserve a sister like Anna. Oh God! I hit her with my powers! Twice I hurt her. Mama…please…come back. I need you! I'm sorry I couldn't control it, Papa! I tried so hard. I failed you."

The screams were replaced with raw wails of pain, as Elsa writhed on the table and Petra continued to draw the negative energy from her.

"Anna! Noooooo! I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. Please forgive me, I didn't mean it. I didn't mean to freeze your heart!" Tears were beginning to seep through her tightly clenched lids.

"I'm right here, Elsa," Anna sobbed, her heart breaking for her sister. She had no idea the pain that Elsa hid from the world. Her own tears coursed down her face and dropped onto Elsa's cheeks mingling with Elsa's own tears. "I'm here, Elsa. I love you! I always have, even when you weren't speaking to me, I never stopped loving you. I'm here for you. Please don't shut me out again." Anna leaned over and kissed her sister on the forehead.

Elsa felt that tiny kiss and it burst the dam that had contained a lifetime of pain and anguish. She broke apart, wailing like a little girl, her tears flowing like rivers down her face. She was vaguely aware of someone climbing onto the table and being gathered into a pair of warm arms for a desperately needed embrace. She wept with abandon for all of the missed years with her sister, for the loss of her parents, for failing them in every way, for failing her people…she wept for just not being what everyone expected her to be. And in the midst of the sobbing, Elsa felt relief.

She cracked her swollen eyes open briefly and realized that it was no longer snowing and the ice had stopped spreading. The icicles receded too. As she cried, her voice hoarse and ragged, she looked up into the eyes of her beloved sister. Anna was cradling her in her arms, rocking her back and forth while sobbing herself. It was in that moment that Elsa felt it…love. She felt so loved. She was exhausted beyond all measure, but she actually felt as if her soul had become lighter. She was crying like a small child and yet her powers were no longer wildly erratic. She was in complete control, and she was feeling and expressing her deepest and most painful emotions.

Petra moved in front of Elsa and Anna. She swiped at the tears flowing down Elsa's face with her thumb and cupped her cheek. Tears were coursing down her own cheeks as she smiled at the two sisters.

"This is just the beginning, Elsa," Petra announced. "There is so much for you to learn and so much to experience. I can teach you to be at peace with yourself and to fully accept your gift, if you wish."

"Please help me," Elsa croaked out, her voice barely a whisper. "I want to feel whole. Please."

"Then I am your humble servant. I will teach you to be a vessel of healing love," Petra said softly. "But first, you must learn to love yourself. Now you must rest. Close your eyes and sleep…"

**So...did you like it? Do you want more? Leave me some reviews and I will find the strength to fight my body pain to write a sequel to this, a chapter story about Elsa's further healing and growth. Thank you for reading (and hopefully reviewing) my labor of love. I dedicate this story to Lany19, who has been such a support to me, and to Lugubrious DBB, whose stories have been an inspiration for me to get back into writing again, despite the pain. Thank you both!**


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